GEW PRESENTS
MASS DESTRUCTION
22nd July 2023 | Bright-Landry Hockey Center, Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Once again, the fans' excitement is tinged with a bit of curiosity thanks to the same mysterious
WEN RADBOT? cards on their chairs as last time, but there's no time for that.
All Your Bass Belongs To Us by Combichrist hits the speakers and the show is on!
1. The Natural Ones (Anson Orlandelli & Russ Lehman) def. Lyra Keston & Revvy KingOn their way to the ring, Lyra and Revvy get right up in the camera to let Napoleon Collins III and Zeke Colton Spence know that this is how you beat a veteran team, and that you've got to have eyes in the back of your head. Unfortunately, they fare about as well as their fellow rookies did against The Jokers Wild, falling victim to the Natural Ones' dirty tricks soon enough. They do manage to rally for some good back and forth sequences and even a couple of near falls, but the veterans keep their heads and it's only a matter of time before they find the win, catching Revvy with a Flawless Victory.
Before the next match begins, GEW's booking committee of Dexter Callaghan, Benji Merrick, Cerberus, Cole McGrath, Gregor Grant and Matty Graves emerge. Benji, Cerberus, Cole and Matty are each carrying a suspciciously heavy and lumpy black velvet bag. Dexter announces that both the upcoming pure rules match between Velvet Grey and Kai O'Hara and the falls count anywhere match later tonight between Kameron Chase and Zanatos are special previews of what's to come. On the next show, from Philadelphia's Daskalakis Athletic Center, GEW will begin three simultaneous knockout tournaments which will conclude at Open Season - and the winners will become the inaugural GEW Chaos, GEW Phoenix and GEW Global Tag Team Champions! Deathmatch, pure rules and tag team titles, all of equal value. The committee look forward to presenting them to the tournament winners and wish the whole roster luck over the coming weeks.
2. Velvet Grey def. Kai O'Hara in a pure rules matchThis is an interesting battle between Kai's MMA-rooted style and Velvet's more traditional wrestling, with the former trying to stay in close to use takedowns and control her positioning, and the latter adopting more hit-and-run based tactics, coming in for fast drive-by strikes and impactful throws. Kai forces Velvet to use all of her rope breaks, but she's still able to come back and get the win with a timely Tucked In.
3. Scott Simmonds def. AsherScott's looked better - not only is he still just four short weeks removed from that monstrous Shatterzone match with Shane Tallin, he's only recently got off a red-eye from Japan, where he's been getting the shit kicked out of him all week as part of this year's ELITE World Grand Prix. But if Asher was expecting an easier match he's dead wrong, as Scott pounces on him right from the bell and then pretty much demolishes the poor kid. Caught off guard, Asher's almost totally unable to mount a defence, leading to a katahajime and a very quick tap out.
As he's leaving the ring, Scott sticks his face right in the camera and says he hopes Ryan McGrath (who lives with Coby and Asher) was watching.
4. 420 B.C. (Ligaya Fontaine & Serenity) def. Snow Queen VN & Takeo ShimaIt's a solid outing for the Wildfire Academy rookies Snow and Takeo, who both get to show off their striking ability. Takeo also gets to demonstrate his skills as a chain wrestler as he's able to match Ligaya hold for hold on the canvas. Greater experience and better teamwork win the day in the end though, 420 B.C. proving how effective they can be with Serenity directing Ligaya's strong offence, leading to them burying Snow with the Shallow Grave.
5. Phreak def. Myles TaylorThe championship announcement earlier in the show seems to have lit a fire under both these men - already both high-octane competitors, they seem to be going even harder than usual here. It's not lost on the commentators that neither of them ever managed to capture a title in the old GEW, but with tournaments beginning soon, they might have the opportunity to change that. It's a bruising, physical match for both of them, which ends when Myles goes for the Reckless Rhetoric but Phreak manages to counter and get behind him, and lock in the dragon sleeper to put Myles to, well, to sleep. In a dragonly kind of way.
Before the next match, we cut to a live video! A shaky camera shot fills the screen, being steadied by a tattooed arm. A second later Ryan McGrath appears in the frame having stepped back from the cellphone he's balanced somewhere on the Critical Acclaim tour bus. He stands between the two rows of empty bunks and gives a slow clap.
"Congratulations, Scott. Very impressive. It takes a real badass to beat up a tag team guy half his size in a one-on-one match. Kudos to you, really. Is that supposed to scare me? Beating up my friend to prove some kind of point?"
A shrug. A short laugh.
"Missed the mark, dude. See, I know where Asher came from and I know in a couple days he's gonna be juuuuuust fine. It's a shame that you decide to show up when you know I'm not there, and won't be for a while, though. How convenient that you weren't around when I was ready to go and waiting for you to back up your words."
A smirk forms on his face; one that embodies the cockiness of his father, which has evidently been passed down through his genes.
"Your words, Scott. Any time, any place? I proved that to be a lie, didn't I? Now everybody knows that your word means shit and if anybody is the 'little bitch' in this situation, it's you."
He points the index fingers of both hands in the camera's direction.
"Unfortunately I'm not gonna be around any time soon due to prior engagements..."
He gestures at the bus around him.
"So I guess you can keep mean-mugging me through the camera and sending your warnings if that's what makes you feel good. I don't care."
He steps forward towards the camera as he prepares to end the recording, leaning in so his face fills the screen.
"I'm not scared of you."
And with that, he stops the video.
6. Serena Raine def. CobyCoby seems cautious after what happened to his brother earlier tonight, but also hopeful that Serena won't go quite as ham on him as Scott did on Asher... unfortunately, she catches Coby and the fans alike off guard with a takedown right before the ref calls for the opening bell. From there she unloads a salvo of strikes and the poor kid never manages to muster a comeback. Within a couple of minutes she has an anaconda choke locked in and Coby soon taps.
The bell rings and the ref steps in to break up the hold. Instead of releasing the anaconda choke though, Serena gator rolls and tightens her grip, burying Coby facedown in the mat, only releasing the hold when she believes he is out cold.
Raine releases the hold and stalks the ring for a second, the referee scolding her for keeping the hold on. She stares at the ref for a second, then rushes past him and grabs up the arms of the supine Coby. She then smirks at the ref and places her boot on the back of his head. The ref warns her not to do it; Coby is already out! But she lifts Coby and stomps him down with a mat-shaking thud.
The ref begins yelling at Serena to stop, but the Canadian shakes her head at him before lifting Coby up for another curb stomp, and another, and another. She stomps three times in succession before she drops Coby's arms and stalks away. Coby is pulled from the ring, amd Serena demands a microphone.
She returns to the center of the ring, eyeing Coby as he is escorted out of the arena.
"I am the greatest technical wrestler on this new GEW roster. I am one of the most dominant competitors in the world. And I better not see any backyard trash like that standing across from me ever again."
Her attention shifts to the crowd, whom she seems to have just realized are booing.
"Oh shut up, I'm not even here for you neckbeards. No, I showed up this week to call out Mark Chapman. Because last week, he stole a win from me."
More boos.
"He stole a win from me, and then ran off like a coward to play in his little band. Because he knows that if that match ran back? I'd tap him the fuck out. Turn him into a drooling mess just like I did to little Coby."
She finds the nearest camera, and stalks towards it, locking her eyes center frame.
"So, here's how things are going to go from now on. You can rest at home, while the real competitors show up every week. I'll be here, collecting limbs and wins, reminding everyone that you're a bitch - always have been, really. And when your spine grows back, you can saunter back in here, receive all the love you can from these idiots, and then I'll put you to sleep."
Oh, the crowd didn't like that.
"Maybe, Mark. Maybe I'll sing your whole damn career a lullaby. Put Mark Chapman on the shelf for good. You can just focus on playing your weak ass songs."
She begins to pace, and holds up a hand, as if an idea has struck.
"In fact, while I wait to embarrass Coward Chapman, how about I start letting y'all know exactly what Serena Raine is about these days. How about I show you why it was so damn easy for the Asylum to break this place the fist time."
The boos this time are intense. Serena only smiles and basks in the hate.
"Take this as a warning: if you were in GEW during the "glory days", you're marked. I'm going to run through every single veteran, one by one. Stack the bodies, and put a match to the whole damn legacy."
She lets the mic slip from her hand, dropping to the mat in a clatter, and exits the ring.
7. Isabella Thorn & Sah'ta Thor def. Evangelista & Matt KailEarly on in this match, Thor stays cool, mostly hanging back to guide his daughter from the sidelines against the two Asylum members. However, it's only a matter of time before Matt and Evangelista become too much for her to handle, so Thor's forced to get fully stuck in there too... and that's when his temper seemingly starts to get the better of him, as mixing it up with members of Shane Tallin's faction freshens up those memories of the original GEW's downfall. For their part, Matt and Evangelista haven't teamed up in years, but they quickly settle back into things, with Matt matching Thor's brutality blow for blow while Evangelista focuses on frustrating Isabella on the canvas. In this way the British-Canadian team maintain control for extended stretches, but it's ultimately the father and daughter working together that earns them the win, as Isabella pulls Evangelista down from a moonsault attempt into a tree of woe, and no sooner has she backed away than Thor comes charging in with a mighty Crom's Embrace. He blocks Matt from interfering while Isabella follows up with a double foot stomp and the pin.
8. Kameron Chase def. Zanatos in a falls count anywhere matchThe second of tonight's style showcase matches focuses on the hardcore side of things. Given that one of these men has four reigns with each of the GEW World and Extreme Chaos titles and the other never claimed any gold at all in GEW, there's kind of a pedigree...
imbalance here, but Zanatos just seems to be motivated by it and he brings the fight to Kameron impressively. They brawl all over the ring, all over ringside, into the stands, back into the ring, up the entranceway, and finally up into the bleachers. All the while not only are they suplexing each other all over the shop but chairs, kendo sticks and the guardrails all factor in too - along with a table which Kam sends Zanatos through with a New School neckbreaker after walking along a railing. This happens at ringside, but since this is falls count anywhere, Kam pins right there on the floor... Zanatos with a strong kickout at two, though! He comes very close to the upset with a frog splash off the stage later on, with Kam only just pushing out right on the three. Another big moment comes for him when an exchange of German suplexes on the stairs leads to Zanatos throwing Kam down them, then taking a flying leap with a splash that squishes Kam against the arena's plexiglass barrier! That would probably be a foul if this was a hockey game, but it's another nearfall for Zanatos. Even so, it's Kameron who finally picks up the win just a few minutes later, with a Mental Maelstrom on the concession counter after blinding Zanatos with a cup of beer to the eyes.
Afterwards, Kam helps Zanatos back down and to his feet and shows him respect.
Backstage, Casey Black is frantically pacing, the contents of the MC Inc locker room strewn everywhere. He's lost... something.
"LANCE! CALL OFF THE MATCH! IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT I HAVE TO EVEN GO OUT THERE AGAINST THOSE HORRIBLE... CU... CU... CLOWNS, BUT NOW I CAN'T FIND MY GROIN PROTECTOR OR MY BACKUP GROIN PROTECTOR!"
Casey tosses a full bowl of fruit over his shoulder.
"Casey, seriously, relax. You probably just left your bag in the car or something. Why don't you go and check there."
Casey stops.
"Car, right, probably."
The words are out of his mouth as he hurries through the door. Lance stands shaking his head - then Tony Harrison appears into shot.
"Alright Lance, here's that extra large groin protector you wanted."
Tony hands Lance two groin protectors taped together, which both read PROPERTY OF CASEY BLACK in Sharpie down the side.
"Thanks Tony. After what Hayashi KZ did to me the other night I'm not taking any chances, and this was the only way I could get one big enough."
Tony nods, wrapping an arm around Lance's shoulder as the two leave the shot.
9. Troy Gafgen def. Nikki SongOld school GEW fans who haven't kept up with wrestling since then might expect this to be a walk for Troy, when you compare his title pedigree to Nikki's. But Nikki's been travelling all over the world since then and catching up on the hardware numbers, and she makes him work damn hard for it. In fact this is the longest match of the night, as Nikki's technique, speed and dexterity keep her in control for extended periods, only to be cut off by the raw physicality of Troy's strikes and slams before she can ever seal it up. They each get multiple pins that the fans bite on, but in the depths of the match when they're both tired and slowed, it's Troy who prevails when he manages to duck an attack from Nikki, lift her across his shoulders and plant her with Welcome To Your Nightmare.
10. The Jokers Wild (BlakJak & Spades) def. MC Inc (Casey Black & Lance Murphy)The Boston crowd are hot as fuck for their hometown hero Lance, even if Lance himself is coming into this a bit the worse for wear - like Scott, he's been in Japan this week for ELITE Promotions' gruelling World Grand Prix, and is only back in the States for the one night before having to fly back out to Tokyo for the finals on Sunday. The Jokers know this full well of course... and they also know about Casey's fear of clowns, so they're decked out in the full juggalo look tonight. Between these two factors, the deck is stacked heavily against MC Inc here, but with the support of the Boston fans and their heart/bloodymindedness (whichever you think it is) they fight through it all and give the crooked clowns way more of a war than they were probably expecting. It seems like the Jokers are going to steal it when Jak surreptitiously hoofs Lance in the nads - but Lance completely no-sells it and wags his finger at BJ sternly before flattening him with a thunderous northern lights suplex for a 2.9! Unfortunately for Casey that just means the Jokers turn their attention on him instead, and when Spades punches him as hard as he can in the cock later in the match, he crumples into a whimpering ball. That leaves the jetlagged Lance having to fight two-on-one for a while... and while he tries his hardest, he ends up falling victim to the Murder-Go-Round. Casey in fairness does try to hobble over to break it up, but he's only halfway there when Spades clotheslines him down while BlakJak pins.
The fans boo after the match and shower the Jokers Wild with their trash, but the Jokers just laugh it up.