Post by Will on Oct 26, 2023 16:32:05 GMT
Folks we are back with another episode of the often imitated, never replicated, man with the best fuckin knowledge of the business - James Coronet and the Cult of Coronet experience proudly sponsored by Southern Man Yeehaw Barbecue Sauce. You've tried the rest, now try this!
I am your host James Coronet as always and after a little bit of time away - for all you Internet trolls out there in your parents basement I'm not dead, I wasn't off "dogging" with my wife or whatever the fuck, I had fuckin Covid and it knocked me to shit so we are a bit late on this one but then who isn't used to GEW being a little bit late on things, you know what I mean, obviously I'm talking about the push they haven't given Lance Murphy yet which still bewilders me this week as much as it did last week. He's a big strong dude who can do it all, he can wrestle, he can throw down and he can talk - I used to think "Perfect" Hal Hammond would never be surpassed but I truly believe if they fuckin gave Murphy the push he deserves he could be the biggest star on this earth.
That's neither here nor there though, I've gone off half cocked before we even started, so a quick run down of the show it was in San Francisco or San Antonio or fuckin somewhere that's not important because there's nobody outside the fuckin territories who know anything about wrestling and California is a fuckin waste of time because no matter how much you draw you are always going to run into prima donna dickheads more interested in getting into Hollywood than trading headlocks.
The whole show again was laced with self gratification, masturbatory tributes to the GEW that folded 15 fucking years ago and underpinned by the fucking Asylum. Give me a break a stable lead by a little fucking female fucking midget who looks like she was dragged ass backwards out of a fucking I don't even know what. There's nothing believable about any of them, they are all washed up and I think in 2023 people would rather watch the real fucking Laurel and Hardy than this fucking ultraviolet fuckin carny from the outlaw mudshow.
I remember when women had a place in the business and they took their opportunities to showcase themselves with dignity instead of just being fucking glass eating fucking sideshow clowns. The only part of that Main Event worth talking about is Lance Murphy because the rest of them are just fucking mid card curtain jerkers at best. The sooner some of them fucking retire or just fuck off and die the better we will all be, my fucking blood pressure will come right down, my doctors will be thrilled because I won't have to get so worked up every time there is a fuckin show because I won't have to deal with these fucking goofs.
But it wasn't all bad, I can't say that, there were 2 matches that really stood out to me - Shooter Load and Alex Chambers man, these guys know how to fucking work. Take the new little flippy dippy dickheads, stretch them out and teach them some fucking manners. Never mind running the ropes, fucking show them the ropes as wrestlers. Because that's what you are kids you're fucking wrestlers, you're not stunt men, you're not fucking influenzas or whatever the fuck you want to call yourselves on your fucking Tick Tocker or whatever the fuck. You get in that ring and you are a fuckin wrestler and you should be ready to get fuckin stretched out and earn your place. No amount of fuckin setting up the ring or helping out backstage will ever get you the respect of your peers like getting out in the ring and taking your beating like a fucking man.
I remember this one kid back in '87, we worked a show in Denver in the middle of winter and the big draw was Big Bill I mean at this point he was so hot he could've sold his fucking turds as merchandise, people just fucking loved him. So anyway these two rookies come on before him, couple of fucking vanilla midgets I can't even remember their names, but they come on and they ask him if he will watch their match and give them some tips. Bill was all about giving back, if he liked you man he would've done anything - I remember another time he pulled his fucking gun on some guy hassling yours truly in the car park of a fucking Arby's - but he was that kind of guy he would do anything for his friends. But see if he didn't like you, if he could smell the fear on you, man Bill would just fucking destroy you. So anyway these kids go out and they work the match and they come back and Bill is waiting and he starts going over the match with them, talking through the spots, his brain was fucking incredible for the business and he brings up this one spot where one of the kids could have sold a little better - and this fucking kid man, I swear to god, he turns around to Bill and says he didn't agree. Bill was wrong.
Now you might think that Bill would respect the balls on the kid, but on this particular evening Bill wasn't in the best mood and he was trying to be nice and this kid just fuckin threw it back in his face so Bill waited until he went into the showers and he fuckin followed him in and he took all of his stuff man I mean he took fucking everything that kid had including his towel and by the time he was finished in the shower Bill was gone. So the kid comes out naked and we all play dumb like we didn't know Bill was out in the car park with all his shit not wanting to ruin the rib, until eventually someone pointed him outside. Now it's fuckin Denver in the middle of winter and this fuckin goofball is naked, outside in the freezing cold and the next thing Bill drives up to him with his window down and he just tosses a pair of fucking shoelaces out at the kids feet and tells him he doesn't want to see him again until he learns how to lace his fucking boots.
Anyway I fucking got distracted there but the point I was trying to make was that Shooter Load and Alex Chambers I'd love to see them work together and really just slap some fucking manners into this new breed of vanilla midgets and maybe, just maybe GEW will be able to make something out of them. I think we need to call it there, but there's another show coming up that I'm sure will fail to meet my expectations spectacularly if the Booking Committee don't start fuckin listening to me so until then I'll just say James Coronet out!
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I am your host James Coronet as always and after a little bit of time away - for all you Internet trolls out there in your parents basement I'm not dead, I wasn't off "dogging" with my wife or whatever the fuck, I had fuckin Covid and it knocked me to shit so we are a bit late on this one but then who isn't used to GEW being a little bit late on things, you know what I mean, obviously I'm talking about the push they haven't given Lance Murphy yet which still bewilders me this week as much as it did last week. He's a big strong dude who can do it all, he can wrestle, he can throw down and he can talk - I used to think "Perfect" Hal Hammond would never be surpassed but I truly believe if they fuckin gave Murphy the push he deserves he could be the biggest star on this earth.
That's neither here nor there though, I've gone off half cocked before we even started, so a quick run down of the show it was in San Francisco or San Antonio or fuckin somewhere that's not important because there's nobody outside the fuckin territories who know anything about wrestling and California is a fuckin waste of time because no matter how much you draw you are always going to run into prima donna dickheads more interested in getting into Hollywood than trading headlocks.
The whole show again was laced with self gratification, masturbatory tributes to the GEW that folded 15 fucking years ago and underpinned by the fucking Asylum. Give me a break a stable lead by a little fucking female fucking midget who looks like she was dragged ass backwards out of a fucking I don't even know what. There's nothing believable about any of them, they are all washed up and I think in 2023 people would rather watch the real fucking Laurel and Hardy than this fucking ultraviolet fuckin carny from the outlaw mudshow.
I remember when women had a place in the business and they took their opportunities to showcase themselves with dignity instead of just being fucking glass eating fucking sideshow clowns. The only part of that Main Event worth talking about is Lance Murphy because the rest of them are just fucking mid card curtain jerkers at best. The sooner some of them fucking retire or just fuck off and die the better we will all be, my fucking blood pressure will come right down, my doctors will be thrilled because I won't have to get so worked up every time there is a fuckin show because I won't have to deal with these fucking goofs.
But it wasn't all bad, I can't say that, there were 2 matches that really stood out to me - Shooter Load and Alex Chambers man, these guys know how to fucking work. Take the new little flippy dippy dickheads, stretch them out and teach them some fucking manners. Never mind running the ropes, fucking show them the ropes as wrestlers. Because that's what you are kids you're fucking wrestlers, you're not stunt men, you're not fucking influenzas or whatever the fuck you want to call yourselves on your fucking Tick Tocker or whatever the fuck. You get in that ring and you are a fuckin wrestler and you should be ready to get fuckin stretched out and earn your place. No amount of fuckin setting up the ring or helping out backstage will ever get you the respect of your peers like getting out in the ring and taking your beating like a fucking man.
I remember this one kid back in '87, we worked a show in Denver in the middle of winter and the big draw was Big Bill I mean at this point he was so hot he could've sold his fucking turds as merchandise, people just fucking loved him. So anyway these two rookies come on before him, couple of fucking vanilla midgets I can't even remember their names, but they come on and they ask him if he will watch their match and give them some tips. Bill was all about giving back, if he liked you man he would've done anything - I remember another time he pulled his fucking gun on some guy hassling yours truly in the car park of a fucking Arby's - but he was that kind of guy he would do anything for his friends. But see if he didn't like you, if he could smell the fear on you, man Bill would just fucking destroy you. So anyway these kids go out and they work the match and they come back and Bill is waiting and he starts going over the match with them, talking through the spots, his brain was fucking incredible for the business and he brings up this one spot where one of the kids could have sold a little better - and this fucking kid man, I swear to god, he turns around to Bill and says he didn't agree. Bill was wrong.
Now you might think that Bill would respect the balls on the kid, but on this particular evening Bill wasn't in the best mood and he was trying to be nice and this kid just fuckin threw it back in his face so Bill waited until he went into the showers and he fuckin followed him in and he took all of his stuff man I mean he took fucking everything that kid had including his towel and by the time he was finished in the shower Bill was gone. So the kid comes out naked and we all play dumb like we didn't know Bill was out in the car park with all his shit not wanting to ruin the rib, until eventually someone pointed him outside. Now it's fuckin Denver in the middle of winter and this fuckin goofball is naked, outside in the freezing cold and the next thing Bill drives up to him with his window down and he just tosses a pair of fucking shoelaces out at the kids feet and tells him he doesn't want to see him again until he learns how to lace his fucking boots.
Anyway I fucking got distracted there but the point I was trying to make was that Shooter Load and Alex Chambers I'd love to see them work together and really just slap some fucking manners into this new breed of vanilla midgets and maybe, just maybe GEW will be able to make something out of them. I think we need to call it there, but there's another show coming up that I'm sure will fail to meet my expectations spectacularly if the Booking Committee don't start fuckin listening to me so until then I'll just say James Coronet out!
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