GEW PRESENTS
WINTER BASH 2023
29th December 2023 | Welsh-Ryan Arena, Evanston, Illinois, USA
The Chicago crowd are ready to go. Stevie and Crell remind us tonight will see all three titles defended, including the first ever defences of the Phoenix and Tag Team Championships, and then we're straight into the first match!
1. BiteSize Bros (Asher & Coby) vs 420 B.C. (Ligaya Fontaine & Serenity) vs Shooter Load (Phil Hunter & Shaun Irvine) vs Napoleon Collins III & Zeke Colton SpenceWho doesn't love a good old multi-way clusterfuck opener? This is full of speedy double teams and insane high spots, with all four teams Getting Their Shit In. Zeke and Napoleon are about to have it won when they spike Asher with a diving assisted fisherman buster, only for Shaun to catch Zeke with a low blow. Napoleon turns for him right away but eats a Pit Trap from Phil, who drags both Zeke and NC3 to ringside while Shaun steals the pin over Asher!
Winners via pinfall: Shooter LoadAs usual, as Augusta D'Antagoné introduces RADBOT, she brags about the upgrades she's made to him based on what she learned in his last match. Let's see how that goes.
2. Isabella Thorn vs RADBOTRADBOT immediately sends Isabella flying into the ropes with a shoulder tackle, but she smoothly tiger feints around and comes back with a flying forearm! It's a pretty short match, with RADBOT getting a few big hits in (especially whenever Augusta interferes on his behalf) but Thorn outpacing him for the most part. Ivan Grant is out here too in support of his sister, and a big cheer goes up when he finally gets his hands on Augusta and splatters her into the floor with the crucifix slam to cease her cheating! Not long after that Isabella locks in the kimura, and RADBOT quickly taps out.
Winner via submission: Isabella Thorn3. Alex Chambers & Myles Taylor vs Snow Queen VN & Takeo ShimaBefore anyone even throws a punch, it's clear that Myles doesn't really trust Alex. After all, while Alex has been having issues with both Takeo and Snow lately, they still all trained together, plus Alex encouraged Takeo to use weapons against Myles last show. Alex admits this to the latter when Myles brings it up, but simply says he wants to help Takeo develop his aggressive side, and he believes Myles is the man to do it. It's only because he respects Myles so much as a dangerous veteran! Myles is sceptical, but nonetheless they get stuck into this chaos rules brawl. They're much more at home here, much more experienced in general, but pretty much fighting as two separate people rather than a team, thanks mainly to Myles who keeps ignoring Alex's ideas. Snow and Takeo on the other hand are making up for their undoubted underdog status with solid teamwork, staying back to back wherever possible, covering each other's blind spots, and pulling off some slick double teams. Even so, at one point Myles and Takeo are alone in the ring and they get into a brutal grappling and counter-grappling exchange, each looking for a submission... Alex slides in, but instead of helping out the Southern Born Killer he just hangs back to watch with a smirk! Takeo and Myles are both too absorbed in their battle to notice, but Snow sees it. Alex winks at her, to her confusion, before casually walking over and booting Takeo in the back. Snow clocks Alex in turn with a chair, and as he rolls out of the ring he actually gives her a little nod of respect. She shakes her head, having no idea what to think - and is rolled up by Myles! One... two... Takeo breaks it up. But Alex drags him to ringside, and a few moments later Myles gets the best of a rapid exchange of reversals with Snow, hitting her with the Reckless Rhetoric for the win.
Winners via pinfall: Alex Chambers & Myles TaylorChambers enters and offers a handshake to Taylor... Myles stares at it for a moment... then blows him off and leaves the ring. Alex shrugs and celebrates alone, as Takeo and Snow look on from ringside still mightily confused by his actions.
Whatever interpersonal issues they might have with one another, everyone from Wildfire Academy wants their hands on Serena Raine, following her invasion of the school and her brutal attack on Roscoe Lake. She only one wants one person, though: Mark Chapman. She doesn't get him here however. Instead she gets his childhood friend Kai O'Hara, who's first up to try to avenge their youngest student.
4. Kai O'Hara vs Serena RaineDespite being held under pure rules this match is brutal as try to damn near twist each other's limbs off with their submissions, and they're both pushing the closed fists rule as far as they can. Kai manages to force Serena to exhaust all three rope breaks, and she seems surprised by how hard he goes here. He willingly forfeits his own second rope break to trap her in an excrutiating looking rope-hung surfboard, but she manages to sling herself to ringside. She reaches under the ropes and trips Kai before sliding back in, only just beating the five count, then pulls him into an Indian deathlock. He's able to crawl to the ropes, but that's his last break. After a couple more minutes of intense back-and-forth striking and grappling, Raine finds the cross armbreaker, locking in the Reign of Violence! With no rope breaks left and Serena expertly rolling through with every escape attempt to keep the hold applied, he has to tap out.
Winner via submission: Serena RaineThe bell rings, but Serena doesn't let go. Shades of her match against Coby as she keeps it cranked in. Clearly, Mark was expecting this as he sprints out and forcibly pulls her off his friend. Mark yells that if Serena wants him that badly, he's here right now, but Serena backs off, saying that of course the time he's finally willing to fight her is when she's just had a match and he's fresh. She's not gonna let him play that way, though.
5. Matt Kail vs Oliver CreedOliver's been on fire since returning to GEW, overcoming tough competition in Nikki Song and Phreak, but Matt's been on a mission to prove he's a world title level talent. They go at each other aggressively right away, shifting styles rapidly as they feel one another out. Whatever one tries, the other is able to match. The difference? Matt is trying to speed this match up while Oliver's trying to slow it down. Whenever Kail's in control he raises the pace, using drive-by shots and takedowns from all angles, trying to overwhelm Creed's ability to respond. Whenever Creed gains control he grounds the younger man, keeping him locked down in the centre of the ring, dissecting him with submissions and measured, precise strikes. The fans are rallying firmly behind Matt and he refuses to stay down to the former GEW World Champion, fighting back, kicking out of his signatures time and time again, and gaining agonising near falls with Boom Goes The Dynamite and Thank You, Pain, as well as a huge huracanrana reversal to the Last Rites. Oliver's rattled and he has to powder. Matt with a suicide dive - but the veteran sidesteps it and catches Kail, wheeling him around and into the apron! Rolls him into the ring and levels him with a tightrope dropkick. He pins... Matt kicks out at 1, and roars defiantly in Oliver's face! Oliver boots him in the jaw then sets up a Crucible - Matt dodges the stomp with a schoolboy for a two point nine! But Oliver has a knee to the gut and a DDT, and then a Last Rites... and then, opting to take no chances, a second Last Rites. That's enough to knock Matt out for good.
Winner via pinfall: Oliver CreedThe fans cheer Matt's performance as he recovers, for taking a former world champion to the limit. Oliver just stares at this, betraying nothing, keeping his eyes on Matt as he exits the ring.
6. Kameron Chase & Lyra Keston vs Mark Chapman & Revvy KingHandshakes all round before the match, but not long after Lyra and Revvy start circling, it's painfully clear they still haven't resolved their tension with each other. Lyra's determined to prove people ought to be keeping their eyes on her as a future singles star, and she's showing visible pride every time she gets the best of Revvy. Revvy herself is obviously getting frustrated by this and she's getting aggressive with Lyra; before long the tag team partners are taking liberties with one another. Once again Mark and Kam are trying to coach their protégés through this, but it's not going too well. Lyra thinks she knows better... Revvy on the other hand is
too intent on listening to Mark, leaving herself open. Mark tags in after a few minutes to give her a chance to clear her head - but he also quickly gets markedly rougher with Lyra than anyone was expecting, including himself apparently, if his expression is anything to go by. It's pretty obvious he's still pissed off from what happened between Serena and Kai earlier. Kam blind tags himself in (which annoys Lyra) and tries to calm his cousin down, and it works for a time as the Wildfire co-owners go into an intense but respectful exchange. But inevitably Mark starts getting heated as time wears on, and Revvy feels like she has to come back in. So goes the rhythm of the match, culminating in Lyra taking one liberty too far for Mark, who has enough and traps her in the Eternal Rest. Lyra can't fight out of the guillotine choke and, to her immense chagrin, taps out.
Winners via submission: Mark Chapman & Revvy KingGolf claps come from the stage. It's Serena, obviously, and in her cupped hand is the same box cutter she used on Roscoe. Revvy and Kam both head in her direction, but Mark? He seems torn between wanting to murder her and not wanting to give her the satisfaction. Either way, she vanishes long before any of the Wildfire reps can get their hands on her.
7. Troy Gafgen vs ZanatosThese two men are on the same team when it comes to The Asylum, but they've had real trouble coexisting recently, so it's no surprise that as the bell rings they're standing forehead to forehead in the middle of the ring. A pushing match ensues, with Zanatos shoving Troy so hard he stumbles back against the ropes... only to come back with a big boot! That's the on switch for this match and they start brawling, rolling around slugging each other in between trading huge slams. It soon winds up on the outside, where weapons come into play. Chairs, tables, light tubes, kendo sticks and wooden skewers all get employed in the process of Troy and Zanatos beating the tar out of one another. Needless to say they're both crimson masked before this match is out. In a callback to Open Season, where Gafgen slammed a cinder block into his head, Zanatos drives Troy into a cinder block with a spinebuster for a very close fall! Minutes later they trade spears, each getting more near falls off them. But when Zanatos goes for another, Troy manages to bring the cinder block down across his back as he connects, cracking it apart! They're both left down after that, but Troy recovers first. Welcome To Your Nightmare drops Zanatos face-first into a chair, and that's that.
Winner via pinfall: Troy GafgenBoth guys just lie there for a bit, chests heaving, faces still slick with blood, while the ring crew tidy away the debris around them. Once they're both sitting up, they stare at one another, and then there's a faint nod and smile from both of them in acknowledgement of the war they just put one another through. Perhaps a little mutual respect has been earned here.
8. GEW Phoenix Championship: Evangelista [c] vs Velvet GreyVelvet is confident right away. Evangelista is not. The challenger starts hot, striking with her great reach advantage, keeping Evangelista from getting in close and being able to use her superior grappling skill. The champion seems uncertain of how to break through this at first, until Velvet hits her with a flying press and starts throwing in open palms; in a great show of presence of mind, Evangelista manages to reach out and grab the bottom rope, forcing a break! That's one rope break down, but it gets Velvet off her at least. When they re-engage, Evangelista drops low and throgh Grey's reach, into an ankle pick, and from there she starts alternating between suplexes and submissions, sucking it up as Velvet lays in forearms and knees. The Lilac Thorn finds an ankle lock and cranks it as hard as she can, but the larger woman manages to get to the ropes to use a break of her own. Evangelista's gaining in confidence as the match goes on, but Velvet's staying aggressive, laying in the leather hard. Evangelista's holding her own, though, dumping Velvet on her head and neck time and time again. A Lime Street Loop gets thwarted, but Evangelista keeps her wits and converts it into a standing keylock, and the challenger's forced to use another rope break. Velvet gets an insanely close pin off a spinning spinebuster which bounces Evangelista's head off the canvas and knocks her loopy; over the next minute or two she takes a couple of swings at nothing and loses her grip midway on a German suplex, crushing herself under Velvet. But the champ is able to shake it off and start mounting a comeback. Grey snuffs it out with a dropkick to Evangelista's knee, and she gets ready to give her opponent some Sweet Dreams... but as she comes in with the superkick, Evangelista ducks and manages to rip Velvet into the air! HEADBREAKER! Velvet is OUT and pin is academic!
Winner via pinfall and still GEW Phoenix Champion: Evangelista9. GEW Chaos Championship: Cassie Crowe vs Sah'ta Thor [c]Cassie earned this match by pinning Thor in a 6-vs-6 at The Inmates Taking Over. Given her involvement in Serena Raine's assault on Roscoe Lake, there was some debate about whether it should be revoked, but after much discussion, the booking committee narrowly voted that she still receive it. Thor makes it clear as they come face to face that he doesn't think she deserves it either - not for one fluke pin over him. Cassie just slaps him across the jaw... and he responds by biting her forehead! She's caught off guard at first and unable to respond, but after a few moments she grabs his head and clamps it even tighter to hers, and uses that to start lifting knees into his midsection! He's forced to let go, revealing that she already has specks of blood on her brow. She throws kicks at him, backing him up and bending him over, then runs the ropes... comes back... straight into an emerald flowsion for a two count right there! Thor gets her in mount and starts working on the wound on her forehead with elbow shots, forearm scrapes, even clawing with his fingernails. Very quickly she's a bloody mess, enough that when Thor gets off her and she crawls to all fours, the red stuff is drizzling off her nose and chin and pooling on the canvas beneath her - into which she gets driven face-first courtesy of a knee drop to the back of the head. Only now does she understand the full savage wrath of the Demon King. Thor rolls outside and flips up the apron while Cassie falls to a semi-foetal position, probably regretting her life choices quite a lot. Thor finds no shortage of weapons to toss into the ring. In go light tubes. In go chairs. In go cookie trays, kendo sticks, Thor's signature barbed wire baseball bat, and a small velvet bag which you know damn well the contents of. And in goes, getting twirled in Thor's hand like a revolver as he steps back through the ropes, a staple gun. He takes it to Cassie's face, perhaps trying to suture the bite wound - well, probably not. He's probably just trying to make it worse.
Next is the barbed wire bat, which gets raked down her back. Swinging neckbreaker, and then he starts setting up a platform of chairs. But this ain't Cassie's first deathmatch and it seems he's underestimated her pain threshold, as she slowly pushes herself back to her feet! He's alerted by the noise of the crowd and he spins around - just in time to get a light tube broken over his skull! He sways, but it's not enough to drop him. Cassie with another. And then another. He grabs the fourth, throws it onto the ground to smash it, then DDTs Cassie into the shards! Cover... she kicks out! And as he lifts her up she rams a jagged end into his crotch! That's enough to send him to his knees, tears welling in his eyes, and she bashes him with a cookie sheet before getting behind him and choking him with his own bat, digging the barbs into his throat. Once he seems to be struggling for air, she runs the ropes and comes back with a shining... nothing, as she just drops back down and slaps him in the back of the head disrespectfully! The fans boo, but she flips them off with both hands, grinning at them through her crimson mask. Speaking of which... she starts digging at Thor's head with half a light tube, and soon he too is badly bloodied up. She empties the bag of thumbtacks right behind him, clocks him with a Battlegrounds Uppercut, then comes in with a running knee to drop him into the pins. She makes her first cover attempt of the match, but he gets a shoulder up at one! She only has a moment to be surprised as he starts to pull her into a triangle choke! She gets to the ropes before he can lock it in fully and manages to sling herself to ringside. But she's not safe there as Thor flies out at her with a suicide diving headbutt!
Thor throws Crowe into the apron, then starts dragging her in a full loop around ringside, pausing every so often to slam her into the guardrail in front of the cheering fans and lay in some forearms. Once he's finally done he rolls her back in; Almighty's Promise combo into the pin... NO! Somehow she gets her shoulder off the mat right on the three! It has to be said that while the fans mostly don't like Cassie's actions since she joined GEW, they do respect her toughness. Thor's done playing with his food though. He peels Cassie up by her blood-matted hair... spins her upside down... Parasite Eve, and that's the pin - NO IT ISN'T! She throws a shoulder up at the last possible moment! Thor chuckles and points at her while glancing at the fans, in a "can you believe this?" gesture. He drags her to the corner and lifts her into a tree of woe, backs up... but when he runs in for Crom's Embrace she manages to roll herself up and his knee his the turnbuckle! As fast as she can manage, she flops herself over to the apron and catches him as he rises with a throatbreaker across the top rope, followed up with a kick through the middle. He sinks back against the chairs he set up at the start of the match, and Cassie desperately springboards herself to the top and straight into a senton bomb to send him crashing through the steel! They're both down now, splayed out amongst the broken glass, twisted chairs and tacks. If this was a standard rules match, it would go to a double countout here. But then, if it was a standard rules match, they wouldn't both be soaked head to toe in blood and covered in pins and glass shards.
Despite being the recipient of the senton, Thor is still up first. He gets his bat and uses it to raise Cassie's chin up as she's coming to her knees. He leans in close to her face and tells her to pass this message along to her Asylum buddies... she responds by suddenly planting the staple gun into his mouth! As he spins away a flash of metal shows us that she got his tongue! She bundles him into a schoolgirl - ONE! TWO! Kickout. She starts dragging up into a suplex, calling for her most devastating move, the Warthorn... but she's not the only person who can sneakily grab a weapon while at half their wits, and Thor cracks her with a kendo stick across the head so hard it splinters and bends. She slowly sinks to her knees, eyes flickering, then topples over sideways. Thor makes a throat-slitting gesture. He's done fucking about here. He gets behind her and lifts her into an Argentine rack. It has to be the Seraphim's Shadow, the same move he used to retain this title over Scott Simmonds in his previous defence. Yet, unbelieveably, Cassie kicks and thrashes and manages to squirm off Thor's shoulders and bundle him into a victory roll, pressing him into all that glass and metal with a fisftul of his waistband for extra leverage... and he kicks out, but not quite in time!
Winner via pinfall and new GEW Chaos Champion: Cassie CroweThe fans are stunned, the commentators are stunned, Thor is beyond stunned. As Carly Mitchell announces the result she's audibly stunned too. But Cassie just snatches the title belt from the ref and screams triumphantly! She climbs up on the corner and slaps the faceplate a couple of times, taunting the fans. Then it all catches up to her and she has to sit down for a moment, but that can't take away the upset she's pull off here, unseating the GEW Hall of Famer, former GEW World Champion, and current EHWF World Champion to win the Chaos Championship!
While the ring is cleared of busted up weaponry ahead of the main event, the GEW booking committee briefly appear on the video screen to thank all the fans for watching on stream or being here live. They announce the attendance and then reveal that the next GEW supercard will be Collision Course in March.
10. GEW Global Tag Team Championship: MC Inc (Casey Black & Lance Murphy) [c] vs The Natural Ones (Anson Orlandelli & Russ Lehman)These two teams eagerly seize their main event status with an absolute clinic in tag team wrestling, starting out at high tempo with rapid tags on both sides, and only increasing the excitement from there. Anson's faster than Casey and Russ is stronger than Lance, so the Mad Cunts make the call after a few minutes to not even try that avenue. Now Casey focuses on outmanoeuvring Russ while Lance focuses on grounding Anson. Russ quickly clocks what they're doing and shifts the Game Knights' strategy accordingly, leading to your classic proverbial chess match as they all try to time their tags and double teams to be most advantageous. The first fall doesn't occur until almost 20 minutes in, when Russ waves the ref over and claims that Tony Harrison was trying to interfere, while surreptitiously kicking Anson's signature Guitar Hero over to him. Anson with the Digital Equaliser shot to Casey's dome, and after quickly tossing the controller to ringside, he bundles Casey into a pin just in time for the referee to see it and count the three! However, MC Inc aren't afraid to use some shenanigans themselves, and they manage to turn Anson's hax+sploitz against him as time ticks closer to the 30 minute mark, ironically when Anson blasts Casey with the Critical Existence Failure clean as a whistle in the dead centre of the ring. Tony slyly passes something up to Russ... it's the Guitar Hero controller! Then the King of Crunch gets up on the apron and tells the ref that Anson just used the controller! When he realises the pin's not getting counted Anson stands up to ask what the hell is going on - and Lance tosses him the plastic guitar. Anson catches it on instinct right as Tony says "look, he's holding it right now!", and lo and behold the ref turns around to catch Anson red-handed, even though the Epic Sex God was actually innocent for once! Anson protests but to no avail. He's disqualified and the match is now tied up at 1-1!
Both teams are tired rolling past the half hour mark, especially the much larger Lance and Russ, but they keep on fighting. There are bursts of high speed offence on both sides but they're more measured now, as they all realise this might come down to who can simply outlast the other team. Coronet will be blowing a gasket because Casey kicks out of the R.F.G. and Anson kicks out of the Fade To Black, within a couple of minutes of each other. Russ rolls the dice on a Depleted Uranium busaiku knee on Lance, but when Lance gets the shoulder up after Russ drags himself atop him, it seems like it was a rare tactical error from the One Man Tank Rush. Doubly so a minute later when Murphy traps him in How To Kill A Cunt! With his knee still smarting, Russ can't escape, but Anson is fortunately there to break it up with a springboard flying side kick to Lance. Anson's subsequent R.F.G. attempt gets thrown aside, but the strain of elevating the 260+ pounder Russ for the Boston crab, now almost 40 minutes into the match, is clearly taking a toll on Lance who's slow to rise again, and Russ is able to pull him into a small package for what had to be a two point nine recurring. Even though both of the heavyweights in the match are now flagging, they trade meaty strikes, before the smaller men take over for a bit. Black and Orlandelli are somehow still managing to wrestle like the match had only gone half as long as it actually has. Anson with an overhead kick to counter a rear waistlock. Casey dodges a Diamond Pickaxe and responds with a double knee gutbuster. Anson hits the Drilling Conclusion but Casey kicks out. Casey hits How's It Taste, Motherfucker? but Anson kicks out! Russ back in now, and he soon catches Casey with the Dragon Boom EX Plus Alpha, but the pin is broken by Lance with a thrust kick to the jaw. Anson goes for Casey's own flying leg lariat to Lance, but Murphy somehow manages to sandbag and reverse it into a powerbomb! Lance drops to one knee and is huffing hard, but while both the Natural Ones are recovering he drags Casey to his corner and tags. On his return Russ meets him with a clothesline that doubles him over, but Lance replies a moment later with a double knee facebreaker. Slowly but forcefully, the two big men throw strikes into each other, trying to weaken one another enough for grapples. Lance sandbags the Go2Ten. Russ blocks the How To Kill A Cunt. Russ slides behind, German, but it's only a two count. Lance with a German of his own a minute later but that's a two count too. Lance is first back up and he keeps Russ from getting all the way with a European uppercut and a trio of headbutts. Screaming with strain at lifting the heavier man, now a good 45+ minutes deep, Lance hauls Russ up for the Ultimate Zing! He lands it true and covers... Anson rushes in to break it up but Casey with the flying teabag to block it and at long last the three count is made!
Winners via pinfall and still GEW Global Tag Team Champions: MC IncCasey and Lance look about dead after that, but Tony steps into the ring with a huge grin and hands them their belts. He helps them both to their feet and raises their arms, confetti showering them, as the stream fades out.