Post by Will on Oct 1, 2023 21:31:32 GMT
Ladies and gentlemen, gather around because it's time to dissect the latest GEW show, OPEN SEASON, and let me tell you, it really was Open Season for some of the old, washed up hacks that they have got bulking up their roster. Why book the talent when you can bury them in the name of keeping yourself relevant? Before we get too into it a reminder that I'll call it as I see it, the good and the bad, and that means giving credit where it's due and tearing apart the stuff that's ruining the business.
First and foremost, the bad, and let's start by addressing the giant metal elephant in the room – RADBOT. Yeah, you heard me right, a fuckin wrestling robot. Now, I've seen my fair share of idiotic gimmicks, but this one takes the cake. I don't care if it's 2023 or 3023; this ain't wrestling; this is a sideshow. It's killing the business and making a mockery of what we hold dear. Wrestling should be about story telling and hard-hitting action, not some futuristic gimp in a fuckin tinfoil hat who can't get up after he takes a bump.
Moving onto the good, Shooter Load. These guys were part of a team in a five on five tag team match, and they were the standout stars, just as I've been saying all along. I can't even fuckin remember everyone else that was in the match, it was one of those big clusterfucks you usually see on Japanese tours when they have to fuckin book everybody to make sure they make their appearance numbers but I'm getting off the point here - Shooter Load is a well-rounded veteran team, they have done it all in the business and they are still in their prime, and it's about time they get the fuckin recognition they deserve. They are solid in the ring, solid on the promo and they constantly deliver like fuckin workhorses. If you asked me do I want a bunch of flippy dippy douchebags or do I want guys who can deliver consistently and shine in a sea of mediocrity I would pick these guys every time hands down.
And speaking of mediocrity, let's not forget the so-called "Fisher Price My First Deathmatch" between Scott Simmonds and Ryan McGrath. It was nothing more than gratuitous carny violence, using weapons that belong in a fuckin child's toy chest, then pulling out fuckin bamboo skewers, light bulbs, and light tubes? Give me a fuckin break. Sure they told a story, Ryan got his comeuppance for being a spoiled second-generation brat, but did we really need this outlaw carny mudshow bullshit to drive that point home? I'm just curious to see now will the little bitch keep running his mouth around the place or has he finally learned his fuckin lesson the hard way not to fuck around with veterans, albeit veterans of the fuckin mudshow. Kids used to come into the locker rooms and respect their elders and keep their fuckin mouths shut. I wouldn't be surprised now if Ryan wishes he had done just that.
Now, onto what should have been the highlight of the night, MC Inc's victory over the Jokers Wild to become the first GEW Global Tag Team Champions was the first bit of sensible booking we have seen from the fuckin amateur booking "committee". I've been singing the praises of Lance Murphy for a long time, and I just think it's a fuckin travesty that they didn't let him get the decisive fall. No, instead we had to endure Casey Black, the fuckin sideshow clown who's scared of clowns, and his flatulent antics. How the fuck am I supposed to buy this guy is a fuckin legitimate fighter when he's out here fuckin farting on his opponents. Whoever came up with that spot, and whoever fuckin produced it, should be fuckin ashamed of themselves. I can tell you now if I was in gorrilla and that happened I would be waiting to chew out his fuckin ass, no pun intended. And on top of all of this I can't believe Tony Harrison is still associating himself with these fuckin goofballs, I remember booking him when he was on a tour of the States about '93 I think, back when he was '2 Tuff Tony' and he had everything, he had some wild hoss fights with Big Bill and Texas Terry and if he had stuck with me I would have pushed him to the moon because he was that good and it actually makes me sick to the pit of my fuckin stomach now to see him regularly shitting on his legacy by fuckin around with these idiots, they call themselves Mad Cunts well they got the fuckin Cunt part right at least. But he shits on his legacy and he shits on the business, and for what? To put over some D Grade Juggalo rejects who would be mopping jizz off the floor of the fuckin porno store if he wasn't.
In the grand scheme of things, this GEW show was just alright, but it could've been so much better if it wasn't drowning in self-serving nostalgia. Some of these original roster members need to accept that their glory days are behind them and stop booking themselves in these masturbatory homages to the past. Kameron Chase and Sahta Thor headlining the show was a fuckin embarassment when you look at some of the other talent on display and again I could come back to the point I already made about Lance Murphy is a wasted talent, and it's a damn shame that the show is marred by outlaw carny mudshow bullshit, but instead I'll just say James Coronet out!
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First and foremost, the bad, and let's start by addressing the giant metal elephant in the room – RADBOT. Yeah, you heard me right, a fuckin wrestling robot. Now, I've seen my fair share of idiotic gimmicks, but this one takes the cake. I don't care if it's 2023 or 3023; this ain't wrestling; this is a sideshow. It's killing the business and making a mockery of what we hold dear. Wrestling should be about story telling and hard-hitting action, not some futuristic gimp in a fuckin tinfoil hat who can't get up after he takes a bump.
Moving onto the good, Shooter Load. These guys were part of a team in a five on five tag team match, and they were the standout stars, just as I've been saying all along. I can't even fuckin remember everyone else that was in the match, it was one of those big clusterfucks you usually see on Japanese tours when they have to fuckin book everybody to make sure they make their appearance numbers but I'm getting off the point here - Shooter Load is a well-rounded veteran team, they have done it all in the business and they are still in their prime, and it's about time they get the fuckin recognition they deserve. They are solid in the ring, solid on the promo and they constantly deliver like fuckin workhorses. If you asked me do I want a bunch of flippy dippy douchebags or do I want guys who can deliver consistently and shine in a sea of mediocrity I would pick these guys every time hands down.
And speaking of mediocrity, let's not forget the so-called "Fisher Price My First Deathmatch" between Scott Simmonds and Ryan McGrath. It was nothing more than gratuitous carny violence, using weapons that belong in a fuckin child's toy chest, then pulling out fuckin bamboo skewers, light bulbs, and light tubes? Give me a fuckin break. Sure they told a story, Ryan got his comeuppance for being a spoiled second-generation brat, but did we really need this outlaw carny mudshow bullshit to drive that point home? I'm just curious to see now will the little bitch keep running his mouth around the place or has he finally learned his fuckin lesson the hard way not to fuck around with veterans, albeit veterans of the fuckin mudshow. Kids used to come into the locker rooms and respect their elders and keep their fuckin mouths shut. I wouldn't be surprised now if Ryan wishes he had done just that.
Now, onto what should have been the highlight of the night, MC Inc's victory over the Jokers Wild to become the first GEW Global Tag Team Champions was the first bit of sensible booking we have seen from the fuckin amateur booking "committee". I've been singing the praises of Lance Murphy for a long time, and I just think it's a fuckin travesty that they didn't let him get the decisive fall. No, instead we had to endure Casey Black, the fuckin sideshow clown who's scared of clowns, and his flatulent antics. How the fuck am I supposed to buy this guy is a fuckin legitimate fighter when he's out here fuckin farting on his opponents. Whoever came up with that spot, and whoever fuckin produced it, should be fuckin ashamed of themselves. I can tell you now if I was in gorrilla and that happened I would be waiting to chew out his fuckin ass, no pun intended. And on top of all of this I can't believe Tony Harrison is still associating himself with these fuckin goofballs, I remember booking him when he was on a tour of the States about '93 I think, back when he was '2 Tuff Tony' and he had everything, he had some wild hoss fights with Big Bill and Texas Terry and if he had stuck with me I would have pushed him to the moon because he was that good and it actually makes me sick to the pit of my fuckin stomach now to see him regularly shitting on his legacy by fuckin around with these idiots, they call themselves Mad Cunts well they got the fuckin Cunt part right at least. But he shits on his legacy and he shits on the business, and for what? To put over some D Grade Juggalo rejects who would be mopping jizz off the floor of the fuckin porno store if he wasn't.
In the grand scheme of things, this GEW show was just alright, but it could've been so much better if it wasn't drowning in self-serving nostalgia. Some of these original roster members need to accept that their glory days are behind them and stop booking themselves in these masturbatory homages to the past. Kameron Chase and Sahta Thor headlining the show was a fuckin embarassment when you look at some of the other talent on display and again I could come back to the point I already made about Lance Murphy is a wasted talent, and it's a damn shame that the show is marred by outlaw carny mudshow bullshit, but instead I'll just say James Coronet out!
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